I was lucky to be invited to my first Indian wedding. The groom was Rishika’s paternal grandfather’s sibling’s grandson (I think). The flights to Agra where the wedding took place is infrequent. Since the Taj Mahal is located in Agra, the local government wants to restrict the flights over the city. On the way there, we took one of the few flights to Agra with a layover in Locknow. At the Locknow airport, I had some chole kulche and chai. Not bad, particularly for airport food. Kulche is a soft and pillowy bread, lightly buttered and sprinkled with cilantro. It was enjoyable to eat both on its own and with the chickpeas. The chai was mainly flavored with ginger instead of other warm spices, which I found to be common here in the state of Upi (both in Locknow and Agra). Also, the weather is colder up north here, with temperatures ranging from 40s to 70s, and the foggy, wet air making it feel colder.
Chole bature
Since there are infrequent flights to Agra, people typically drive to Agra from Delhi. Likely due to habit, few people flew to Agra with us. The plane seated about 50 people, but it was no more than half full. Because the fuselage was smaller, ceiling was lower in this plane and generally felt more cramped. It was my first time riding in a plane of this size and a plane with propeller engines.
Propeller engine
It was a little more nerve-racking when we were delayed due to “technical issues.” I watched as ground forces examined the engine on my side of the plane and hoped that the ground forces took their job seriously. After a successful takeoff, I calmed down a little and enjoyed the beautiful views. What was fog on the ground became a blanket of pillow clouds in the air. The clouds extended as far as the eye could see without a single break. I could have easily been flying over fluffy snow in the Artic, with not a single animal in sight.
The stunning view from the plane
Civilian cars are not allowed in the Agra airport area since it is a defense airport. The only way out is to take a bus. They charge everyone 50 INR. Since there are no other options out of the airport, this bus is very much a scam.
Once on the streets of Agra, I noticed the streets are narrower than in Pune and there are many more street vendors. People transported goods on bicycle, pushcart, and donkey. Agra had the feel of a more quaint, smaller town despite standing on its own as a city. There is also much more street art, courtesy of the more numerous artists and a product of the 2023 G20 summit in India. There are also many Catholic schools (St. Joseph’s, St. Conrad’s, etc.) which are more of a legacy of British colonialism than Catholic influence. Rishika’s cousin Pavni attends one of these schools. The exams are not as hard as the state exams, but they emphasize more English.
Street art
Most pervasive of all was the celebration of sangeet on Jan 22. Well before Jan 22, motorcycles, cars, and stores everywhere donned bright orange flags in celebration.
Orange flags everywhere
We had arrived on the third night of wedding celebrations, i.e. sangeet (the night before the wedding ceremony). I planned to wear a blouse and skirt, but Pavni lent me a more Indian outfit instead. They also kindly offered me “bangles” (jewelry) which is custom to wear at weddings.
This celebration was held at a hotel, with lots of food, music, and dancing. What exactly happens at sangeet varies from family to family. I was surprised to see that the first two hours for this family consisted of performances from the family and friends of the bride and groom. Two hours of performances! From family and friends i.e. non-professionals! They have a lot more dance moves than most American families. While there were some who were better dancers, no one was too shy to dance. Even the grandmas came on stage for a performance. They danced to both Hindi and Western music. There was no place to deposit red envelopes as there are in Chinese weddings, but there was a money jar by the stage that was filled up during the performances.
The bride and groom's grand entrance complete with fog generator
The grandmas dancing!
Following the performances, the rest of the visitors were allowed to dance. Throughout the performances, I was dying to dance as they seemed to be having so much fun! Finally it was my turn. I just had to put in some earplugs to protect my ears (I know, snobby musician right?)
Me, Rishika, Pavni (Rishika's cousin), and Rishika's aunt
There was a huge variety of food: hour d’erves and drinks in the dance area; an extensive buffet complete with soup bar, past bar, chai station, salads, hot and cold dishes, ice cream, and desserts; and street food stations on the outdoor patio.
Rishika’s aunt assured us that the food was hygenic, so I happily tried some pani puri. Typically you should be careful of the water they use for pani puri, but they said that they used bottle water and they dipped the puri into the flavored waters with clean gloves. The puri were filled with chickpeas and potatoes and the flavored water. I tried two flavors – cilantro (fresh, slightly sour and slightly spicy) and tamarind (sweet and sour). Other street foods I tried were:
· Aloo tikki – spiced potato patties with corn and peas inside, fried fresh, typically served with yogurt, tamarind, and/or cilantro sauces
· “Dried fruit” – which are freshly toasted cashews, almonds, peas, and corn tossed in sweet, sour, and slightly hot spices. Interesting that they call these foods “fruit,” but it makes sense since they are all related to plant reproduction, essentially seeds, I think
There were also other foods I didn’t keep track of, but I noted down the sweets I tried:
· Moong dal halwa – very good! Made with mung beans, ghee, jaggery sugar, and a little bit of spice. Mung beans give a nice nutty flavor, probably in conjunction with nuttiness of ghee and caramel notes of jaggery. The texture was like a dried paste, but it wasn’t too mushy like some the moong dal halwa I had later.
· Galub jamun – fried balls of dough, soaked in warm cardamom spiced syrup. Syrup probably also had jaggery as it had warm, toasty flavor overall. Turkish probably have something similar.
· Jalebi – fried rings of dough soaked in syrup. Since these are rings, they are less like fluffy dough and more like chewy thin ropes. Reminiscent of what I had in the Persian bakery in Watertown.
The food, dancing, and music went till 1:30am after which I was very happy to get into bed.
Throughout these celebrations, food for the family is served all day at the groom’s house. The outdoor area of the groom’s house was decorated with strings of flowers, covered in temporary carpet, and furnished with temporary couches. We came here for catered breakfast the next day.
· Bedhai – a fried flat bread flavored with cumin seeds, a specialty of Agra
· Kashaval – pumpkin, slightly spicy but surprisingly sweet and warm, very good!
· Dal – these split peas are spicier than those in Pune, which is expected in this region
· Pongal – flattened rice, mildly spiced with turmeric etc, nuts
· Chai – Rishika has not liked any of the chai we’ve had so far but this was up to her standards (but not Pavni’s). It had strong ginger, milk, and tea flavor. The aromas of the tea (similar to the Ceylon tea we have at home) blended with that of the milk and ginger. The ginger added a punch to the tongue.
Throughout my time in India, I’ve noticed that men are the main figures in public life. Even roles typically reserved for women in the West are occupied by men here. For instance, the cleaners at the airport and malls are men while women seem to be restricted to cleaning in the home. This gender difference was accentuated once again at breakfast. Women shaped and rolled the bedhai beneath the table while men fried and served the dough. The men served as the face of the bedhai-makers, though the women’s skill in dough work were probably more significant to the quality of the bedhai.
Naughty monkeys munching on snack made for humans (pink speck in the middle)
After breakfast, we headed to the Taj Mahal – one of the Seven Wonders of the World. The Taj Mahal was built by the Mughal king Shah Jahan to honor his deceased wife Mumtaz Mahal. It took 22 years to build by 20,000 workers around the clock. The white marble was brought by camel and elephant from 400km away. The buildings are decorated with gemstones. One of these gems is carnelian which illuminates under moonlight. Furthermore, the domes were once covered in gold and the tomb studded with diamonds, but the British stole these treasures :(.
Look at the detailed patterns! All made with gems!
What astounded me the most was the incredible symmetry of the building. We often strive to make things symmetrical but fail to achieve this. In spite of all the detailed carvings and designs, the Taj Mahal seems to achieve this perfection that we strive towards. Not only are the surrounding buildings built symmetrically around the main mausoleum, but the building also looks the same from all four sides. Furthermore, everything on the grounds is aligned with a single, central line of reflection. The Taj Mahal is definitely worth its title as one of the Seven Wonders of the World.
The pool of water aligns with the center line too.
(The tour guide was well-practiced in taking photos of the Taj and his clients. That made for good photos but hindered my creativity. Still here goes…)
After visiting the Taj Mahal, we drove by the Red Fort which served as the main residence for the Mughal rulers.
Lunch was back at the groom’s house, with paneer, saag, dal, and carrot halwa. The carrots in Agra are redder here!
Then after some rest, we got ready for baraat – the celebration by the groom’s family. On the way, we were enveloped in very heavy fog. This is common during the winters in Northern India / the region near Delhi. We could only see one or two feet in front of us. We couldn’t even make out the road boundary right at the edge of our lane. We inched forward, sometimes following the faint lights of the car in front of us and sometimes using the orientation of maps to guide us.
fog...
Baraat was an extravagant affair with the groom riding on a horse and the family dancing alongside.
Groom on the horse
Servers accompanied the parade, offering drinks and light snacks. Flower confetti was sprayed periodically and there were fireworks as well. Musicians pounded on drums and brass instruments accompanied the percussion. Perhaps most surprisingly, family members waived money in front of the servers and musicians as they danced. They taunted the musicians a bit in a friendly manner before handing over a 10-, 20-, or 50-rupee bill. The atmosphere was very lively: guests often challenged musicians to play more loudly or quickly, and musicians even picked up people to sit on the drums hanging on their shoulders!
Teasing the musicians with money
We slowly made our way from the gate to the banquet hall, dancing and celebrating all the way. The wedding reception and ceremony takes place in the hall. Once we arrived at the hall, women were greeted with little handbags with snacks and men were welcomed with a scarf to wrap around their heads (pagri). In the hall, strings of flowers hung from the ceiling alongside glistening chandeliers and colorful lights.
Wearing the traditional lehengas that we bought in Tulsi Baug
The scarf can be worn in different ways
There was a buffet of traditional Indian gravies, Indo-Chinese delights, pasta and pizza bars each with 5-10 choices. There were several dozen sweets and fruits. There was a chocolate fountain and two stations for drinks (one for coffee and chai, another for juices and mocktails). I primarily munched from the dozen or so street food stations that lined one side of the large banquet hall. With so many foods served, there were bound to be some hits and some misses. Among my favorites were the aloo tikki and chole bhature. It seems like aloo tikki is quite popular in Agra and, based on the ones I’ve tried, rightfully so.
Aloo tikki, without the typical sauces but sill very tasty
Chole bature, bature (bread) was fried fresh for us
The baraat and reception was a big show of wealth and fortune. The families show their ability to fund the large banquet and extravagant hall. On this rare occasion, it’s OK to waste some food because of the abundance. A more prominent flaunt of wealth is all the money-waving during the dancing and celebrating. My hypothesis is that this carefree money waiving serves as an omen for prosperous and happy times in the future of this marriage.
Another sign of wealth is the heavy presence of servers who elevate the status of the couple’s families and their guests. This includes the musicians who are treated like servants here in India, the people doling out food, and the people standing around to fulfill requests for food brought to a table. While servers are common in the US, the disparity between those serving and these being served seems to be greater here. The servers are uniformed in cheap, poorly fitting suits while the guests are dressed in lavish clothes. Beneath the uniform vests of the servers, you can see tattered jeans and well-worn shoes all covered in a layer of dirt and grime that make the cheap vests seem pretty decent. Some of the servers are children, working to bring food to their family tables. There was the also family guarding the restrooms. They seemed to be responsible for cleaning the restroom (though the restrooms were not clean, especially for an extravagant venue of this kind), but perhaps they were simply seeking refuge in this semi-indoor space. Dust and dirt laced their hair and their faces were pallid, as they sat with stern faces bundled in quilts. (Were they Dalits - the lowest caste?)
Rishika had mentioned that Indian hospitality is top-notch. She mentioned how the cleaning staff rummaged everywhere – through all cabinets, behind the bed, etc. – when she lost her glasses at the hotel. They go to greater lengths to serve others. To me, this reflects more entrenched class divides with lower classes subject to the willy-nillies, desires, and needs of higher classes. While servants basically fulfill every wish and need of their bosses in five-star hotels and multi-millionaire mansions in the US, there seems to be a more history of servitude here. There have been many ruling empires in India (the list on Wikipedia is very long https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Hindu_empires_and_dynasties). The most recent was the British, which itself has a long tradition of servitude and a royal ruling class (think Downtown Abbey). The British established clear hierarchies and roles by taking advantage of the caste system (which dates back 3000 years to traditional Hindu society) to govern and control India. I believe the caste system is one of the main contributors of "top-notch hospitality/servitude." While most people do not feel discriminated based on caste (Pew Research), caste still seems relevant to everyday life. These are just my thoughts based on observations and brief Internet research; I am no expert of course.
Anyway, back to the wedding…
There was a lot less dancing than the previous night, since the ceremony is considered more sacred. The banquet started around 9, but the bride did not arrive until 1am. The bride also entered with great fanfare, as she was carried in on a grand palaquin / doli (i.e. carriage) with dancers and sparklers lighting the way. To seal the marriage, the couple said the three magic words “I love you” to each other. This surprised me since everything prior in the wedding seemed pretty traditional from my Western outside perspective, but this vow was adapted from Western culture.
When we left the banquet hall, we were once again faced with heavy fog. This didn’t seem to phase Rishika’s cousin who kept me wide awake with his relatively speedy driving. Thankfully, we made it back safely in the end.
The fog makes it like a steam room, if not worst.
The next day was spent traveling. We drove to Delhi to fly from Delhi back to Pune. Before arriving at the airport, we made a pit stop at Ambience Mall to eat at Haldiram’s – an Indian institution. Haldiram’s started as a buhjia (crispy threads) seller before becoming a snack and prepared foods empire. It now has many restaurants where they sell sweets, chaat, and down-home food. The environment is casual, as you pick up the food from the counter and sit down at simple tables. According to Rishika and her cousins, the food is pretty good for being a fast food chain.
The malls here are so nice.
· Rajakchori – a type of chaat (snack with sweet, sour, salty, and spice and usually crunch), crispy fried shells with potatoes, lentils, yogurt, tamarind chutney, cilantro chutney, pomegranate seeds. Chaat is always entertaining to eat!
· Malai kofta – soft, paneer + potato dumplings served in spiced, creamy gravy. The dairy flavor and creaminess in the gravy is a little too heavy for me, at least at that moment.
· Chole bature – This chole bature is a different from the one I had at the wedding. The bature is similar in that it’s still a soft fried dough. At Haldiram’s the chana (chickpeas) are flavored differently with less heat and less tomato. The chana may also be more cooked down or be a different type of chana. Not sure – will have to do more investigation, but Rishika says there are many variations.
Malai kofta with dal+ghee+tomato
At the airport, something notable happened. As we waited in the security line, a man berated the workers for moving so slowly, saying that they’re not doing their job. A brief argument ensued. In the US, I would have expected the workers to move even slower in spite. Here, however, the workers actually moved faster afterwards. Were the workers not upset at being yelled at? Rishika suggested that the workers were not upset despite appearing angry and defiant. What the yelling man said about doing their duty as airport workers made an impact on them. Perhaps the importance of fulfilling one’s role is greater here in India? (Back to ideas of caste?) But maybe more so for the working class? Because the middle and upper classes seem less confined to a role, with YouTube ads indicate that there is a way up for them. (The ads encourage people to start businesses or advise people on how to make more money.) But of course, these tough questions remain open for me.
I wrapped up the day of travels with a grad school interview at 11pm.
Comments
Post a Comment